I'm half asleep but wide awake. [open]

[nocere]

I could wreck it, if I had to.
But I'm the wreck, so what would that do?

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No embrace to save you; nothing because everything is dismal. You are nothing; you mean nothing. Nothing, nothing... That's exactly what he wanted, he wanted to be thrown around; beaten senseless, left to die and be happy. He wanted the pain, all of it, every second. His body quivered and shook in excitement, waiting for what he knew was next; but it did not come. It never did, even when he cried and whined and pleaded.He knew by something inside; that he did not truthfully want it, it was as if he felt he simply deserved it, and accepted his fate. But than the next second she had left; blood leaking from her claw, and he would watch as her tail faded away as a distanct memory, confused about his emotions towards the pain and blood leaking from his leg. Did it make him happy? His mind would race, or did he just simply accept it... His head would throw back in agony, hurt would sink in and his eyes hung over, sullen and hollow. Move on he would tell himself, and than he would awake; just like he did every night. In a panic and a sweaty mess; his eyes searching desperately. He stood for what felt like hours, tired and wanting release. His body would slowly ease itself awake, and he would move like a ghost; alive but dead inside. The forest was dressed in a fake allure of happiness; Trying to tempt him out of his stupor, but his dreams were too vivid to awaken him so soon. The boy locked himself tighter than a security vault, letting no one enter; meant that nothing would change. His dreams would remain; the pain and the hurt would still ache in his bones. Even though it was still such a long time ago. He would walk around like someone who wasn't really there; zombified and yet dangerous none the less. Nocere is always changing moods, thoughts, idea's, you name it. He likes to experiment with things. What he doesn't quite get yet; is which is corrupting him and which is good. His mind is still very much young, and learning. To be described, the boy might be a never ending story. He trys his hand at being a badass, but it doesn't quite suite him. The truth of the matter is, he is scared of himself. Scared of being taken advantage of like he had done to others, scared that maybe he might love again. Scared of letting his true self out. So he walked, with confusion and clouds muttering up his mind, wandering like he usually did on days like this; Not particularly searching for trouble, but not fighting it either. His eyes crawled across the trees; they were coated in light from the sun passing by, and he could just stare at the beautiful way it soared through the canopy and even landed on the thick grass below. He wanted to run through it, so he allowed his paws to roar into action; an excitement releasing a smile onto his once stoic expression. His legs allowed gentle prances into the thick green, the light glittering on his fur, and he was smiling and leaping through the green. Enjoying the way it tickled his fur; it came up quite high, and his legs were very nearly emerged in it. The boy was laughing as he crept lower, and than sprang up in a hung leap. Capturing a large heap of grass, and than he paused to catch his breathe. It was funny how easily Nocere could change, from quiet to playful in meer moments. His casual mood swings happened easily, being the confused brute he is. He than began to calm; looking at the surroundings he had recently pranced through. He allowed his body to creep into a laying position; and he lay there, wondering what just might happen today. ------------------------------- notes; I don't even know. He is so weird to write with, because he is between like wanting to be bad, and good and stuff. :S And than I want him to have fequent mood changes from happy to like mad, or something so uhh, yeah. Feel free to join in, he's a little... Idk, my challenge. xD I think he's like yin and yang, lol. Or like he wants this, but he's not sure cause he wants that or something. xD I'VE NEVER ROLEPLAYED SOMEONE LIKE THIS AND I'M FREAKING OUT. ;W;